Posts Tagged ‘The Magic of Making Up’

When people start to have relationship problems they tend to make things much more difficult than they need to be. It’s not really that hard to identify the problem and work together to fix it…as long as you are working together. This is a common problem, one partner won’t commit to make the changes needed to make the relationship better.

No matter how hard it may be to hear, if that is the case in your relationship than you have no choice but to end it…unless you are willing to stay in a bad relationship. It will take both of you working together to make things better and if one partner is unwilling to work at it, nothing will change.

If both of you are willing to try to make things better – working together – then here are three tips that may help:

1. One of the most important elements in any good relationship is the ability to communicate well. That doesn’t mean that you know how to talk, it means that you know the best way to get your point across without being mean and spiteful. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. It’s also about how well you listen. Are you really hearing what the other person is trying to say, or are you just hearing the words without looking deeper to the true meaning?

Most of us aren’t poets, and sometimes things don’t come out the right way. Being a good listener means not jumping down your partners throat when they say something wrong, it means trying to understand their point of view and realizing that even though you may not agree with them that they have the right to feel the way they feel and they want your understanding. Don’t forget, some day the shoe will be on the other foot, and you’ll want to try to explain how you’re feeling to your partner, you’ll want them to listen to you, right?

2. Don’t hold your partner up to a higher standard than you hold yourself to. For example, if you don’t want your partner to go out clubbing with their friends, you shouldn’t either. If you want your partner to be a better housekeeper, you should pitch in and help. So many of us are great at telling our partners what they are doing wrong, but we aren’t nearly as good at honestly facing up to our own shortcomings. Maybe if you spent a little more time making sure you were being the best person you could be, you wouldn’t get so frustrated with the failings of your partner.

3. Be realistic as to whether or not you should continue the relationship. Many of us hang on way too long to a bad relationship, and we do it for all the wrong reasons such as fear of loneliness or jealousy over our ex meeting someone else. Relationships are important, and you shouldn’t just run for the door whenever there is a problem, but it’s also important to recognize that sometimes it’s just not working and it never will, and it’s time to leave.

Having a wonderful, loving relationship is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but when you start to have relationship problems it can make you feel more miserable than you ever thought possible. Use these tips to get, or keep, your relationship going strong.

Need more tips? Check out The Ex Back System.

Everyone likes to believe that the relationship they are in is a healthy relationship, but the fact is that many are not. If you want to stop pretending and truly have a wonderful, loving, respectful relationship than look over this list of some tips that will help you achieve that goal.

1. We all feel the temptation to ‘put our best foot forward’ and while that isn’t a bad thing, it’s very easy to take it too far and not really be who you truly are. It’s one thing to use your best manners, but it’s another to pretend you like something that you don’t really like.

When you project a false image of who you really are, you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. You will either have to maintain that phony persona forever or you will eventually have to let your partner see the real you.

Either way it’s not a good situation to be in. Be yourself. You have to have confidence in who you are and if you aren’t confidant enough to be yourself you should hold off dating until you can work on you for a while first.

One of the basic cornerstones of a solid relationship is when both of you accept the other person just as they are. If your partner is constantly trying to make you someone else why would you waste your time? Let them go off and find their perfect someone and you do the same. If they truly love you, then they’ll truly love you and all that you are…good and bad.

2. Learn how to communicate with each other. This is all about talking and listening. It’s about building trust so that you can each have a safe place to express yourself openly and without having to fear being mocked or ridiculed. It’s about finding a healthy way to communicate when something your partner has done bothers you. It’s not about screaming, yelling, getting angry and defensive. If the two of you can learn how to communicate properly, with respect and maturity, you will be well on your way to a great, loving relationship.

3. There is a saying that opposites attract, and that can be true, to a point. The fact of the matter is that while someone who is very different from you might seem exciting and unique at first, over a long time that ‘uniqueness’ can grow very old.

If you and your partner don’t agree on the core things than you are likely to have a very rocky relationship. The two of you don’t have to agree on everything, and as long as you’re both mature enough to respect each other’s opinions, that’s fine. But you should have core values that are similar. For example, religious beliefs, beliefs about fidelity, desire to have children or not, what you consider right and wrong, etc. If your core values are not in sync than you will have a hard time seeing each others point of view and it will lead to a lot of fights.

So many people waste so much time trying to make a bad relationship work when they could have been spending that time in a fun, loving, respectful, healthy relationship if they’d just been a little more careful who they picked for their partner. It’s not about finding someone who is perfect, it’s about finding someone who is perfect for you.