Posts Tagged ‘stop divorce’

When people start to have relationship problems they tend to make things much more difficult than they need to be. It’s not really that hard to identify the problem and work together to fix it…as long as you are working together. This is a common problem, one partner won’t commit to make the changes needed to make the relationship better.

No matter how hard it may be to hear, if that is the case in your relationship than you have no choice but to end it…unless you are willing to stay in a bad relationship. It will take both of you working together to make things better and if one partner is unwilling to work at it, nothing will change.

If both of you are willing to try to make things better – working together – then here are three tips that may help:

1. One of the most important elements in any good relationship is the ability to communicate well. That doesn’t mean that you know how to talk, it means that you know the best way to get your point across without being mean and spiteful. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. It’s also about how well you listen. Are you really hearing what the other person is trying to say, or are you just hearing the words without looking deeper to the true meaning?

Most of us aren’t poets, and sometimes things don’t come out the right way. Being a good listener means not jumping down your partners throat when they say something wrong, it means trying to understand their point of view and realizing that even though you may not agree with them that they have the right to feel the way they feel and they want your understanding. Don’t forget, some day the shoe will be on the other foot, and you’ll want to try to explain how you’re feeling to your partner, you’ll want them to listen to you, right?

2. Don’t hold your partner up to a higher standard than you hold yourself to. For example, if you don’t want your partner to go out clubbing with their friends, you shouldn’t either. If you want your partner to be a better housekeeper, you should pitch in and help. So many of us are great at telling our partners what they are doing wrong, but we aren’t nearly as good at honestly facing up to our own shortcomings. Maybe if you spent a little more time making sure you were being the best person you could be, you wouldn’t get so frustrated with the failings of your partner.

3. Be realistic as to whether or not you should continue the relationship. Many of us hang on way too long to a bad relationship, and we do it for all the wrong reasons such as fear of loneliness or jealousy over our ex meeting someone else. Relationships are important, and you shouldn’t just run for the door whenever there is a problem, but it’s also important to recognize that sometimes it’s just not working and it never will, and it’s time to leave.

Having a wonderful, loving relationship is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but when you start to have relationship problems it can make you feel more miserable than you ever thought possible. Use these tips to get, or keep, your relationship going strong.

Need more tips? Check out The Ex Back System.

If you’ve been with someone for a long time and have said, or thought, “our love has grown cold” then here are some things that may help you rekindle the passion you once had.

It is important to remember though that with any long term relationship passion tends to ebb and flow like the tides, and you may not both be at ‘high tide’ at the same time. This can be frustrating but it’s important to understand that it’s perfectly normal and it isn’t any kind of rejection from your partner and it’s not a sign that your relationship is doomed.

This is especially true as you both start to get a little older and / or the stress of work, and family come into play. At these times it’s very important that the two of you are able to talk to each other openly and honestly.

Here are some things you can do to spice things up, some of these are fairly common but others may be new to you, have fun:

1. What did the two of you like to do when you first met? What type of dates did you go on, how did you dress. I’ll bet you both spent more time on your appearance when you first started dating than you do now. This is a simple thing to change. Make your next date night an adventure, really dress up and make it something memorable. Get ready in separate bathrooms if possible so you can regain some of that excitement of seeing each other all dressed up and looking good.

We all tend to fall into ruts and it can really help the two of you feel a connection if you try to recapture some of that early excitement.

2. Everyone wants to feel special and loved, and what better way to make your partner feel loved and special than to surprise them with a little gift, on a Tuesday ( or any day that isn’t a ‘special’ day). If you’re going out to get groceries, or dinner, or to the dry cleaners, why not pick up something for your sweetie? It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, and it doesn’t have to just be flowers or candy, but make it something that you know your mate would enjoy.

Maybe a silly card that will make them laugh, how about that movie they’ve always loved, a silly little stuffed animal, whatever. Just as long as it’s something that would have a personal meaning for your partner. Jewelry may be a great gift for some people but it is such a cliche that it may just not seem that personal.

Before you pick out a gift think about the person you’re buying it for and make it something special for them. Don’t limit yourself to candy or jewelry because that’s what the t.v. ads make you think you should do, consider if it’s something your partner would really like…that’s what makes a really great gift.

3. To truly rekindle passion you need to be relaxed, both of you. So if you want to do something special why not take a day and go to a spa for massages? Then out to a nice restaurant, and maybe a play or movie then home to a night of love. Spending the day together doing nothing but relaxing and enjoying each others company is the best way to deepen your bond and increase intimacy.

So, the next time you have the thought: “our love has grown cold” just remember that there are some simple, and fun, things you can do to increase the intimacy between you and your partner.