Posts Tagged ‘relationship break up’

So she left you and now you are trying to figure out how “Can I get my girlfriend back.” The problem is that may not be the right thing for you. You have to look at both sides of it and see if it is worth going through all the pain of having to break up again. There is no doubt that in asking “can I get my girlfriend back” that you are really opening not only yourself but her up for what can be lots of emotional problems and may get you nothing more than more heartbreak.

What you are going to do is make two lists. One list is going to be reasons that you should try to find out “can I get my girlfriend back.” The other list will be0 reasons you shouldn’t put yourself through that.

On the list of ideas about “can I get my girlfriend back you will inventory all the reasons that it is her that you need. You will try to find out exactly why it is that your life is better off with her. Look for the big things that are the most obvious and also the small things.

On the list against, really search hard to find out why it shouldn’t be that you are together. What does she bring out in you? Is it good or bad? Pay close attention to both lists and be honest with the answers.

If you have decided beyond all doubt that you should be together then comes how you are going to go about telling her and convincing her. You may be totally convinced that the two of you are perfect together but until she is it doesn’t matter.

The best thing is going to be seeing her face to face and trying to work things out. If you have been able to remain friendly then she may be willing to do that and to give you a fair hearing. What is really going to help this is if you are able to keep that friendly relationship there. If she isn’t willing to see you or talk to you then there is nothing you can do when you are serious about “can I get my girlfriend back.”

The tough thing about all of this is that if she is unwavering in her desire to not have anything to do with you there is nothing that you can do. You can sit in a holding pattern for a while but that doesn’t do you a lot of good. You need to be able to admit it when things aren’t going to workout and then move on with your life. Just because she has decided that she no longer wants anything to do with you doesn’t mean that you deserve that. Obviously she is ready for that new beginning and that is something that you should be as well. The question, “Can I get my girlfriend back?” may be a tough one to deal with but don’t let that answer dictate your life. Rise above it.

You may be tempted to try and get back together with ex but is it really something that you want to do. It might be the best thing in the world but it could also be World War 2. The best way to find out is to attack the idea and tear it apart. You want to be able to find all the reasons that it won’t work and not to be pessimistic about the chances either. You want to see if it can handle an imaginary beating before you give you and your former lover a real emotional beating. If it withstands the scrutiny, then just maybe it isn’t a bad idea to get back together with ex.

It could very well be that you have grown out of the relationship. People grow over time. If you or your former spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend have gone through an emotional growth spurt then it could be that one of you outgrew the other. It could also be that you outgrew the need for the other. People change and where you had so much in common and had so many common needs, there may be little there. If it really is a good idea to get back together with ex then you will find that both of you really do need each other and make each other stronger. Look closely, though. Have your paths diverged? Are you like a stream that has branched off into two? Look honestly at the direction you are going and be real about it.

Could it be that one of you really is more interested in the other more than they are in them? Are you more interested in a relationship with them than they are with you? Is it the other way around? If you think that you might want to get back together with ex then you should be somewhere near the same in level of interest. You should be on pretty equal billing here. There should be a mutual admiration society of two going on here. If there isn’t that balance, then it probably isn’t a good idea to get back together with ex.

Now is it a matter of one of you being controlling over the other? This is something that is very common in couples and is a leading factor in unhappiness within the relationship and is a major part of breaking up or divorce. In this instance you will really have to take a good, hard look at the situation. Is is emotionally healthy for both of you? Are one of you in the driver seat and the other a captive passenger? Then this really probably isn’t a situation where it is a good idea to get back together with ex.

There are many other reasons that people break up and those may not have been the situation that the two of you were in but the principle applies for most every situation. Take a good and honest look at it and fight to see the reasons that it won’t work. If you can convince yourself that it will only end in a breakup again, then you shouldn’t do it. If, however, you decide that it isn’t guaranteed or even mostly likely that you will break up again, then it could be a good idea to get back together with ex.