Posts Tagged ‘how to get your ex back’

Have you been getting your love relationship advice from Cosmo or Esquire? Well, there’s your problem right there. Popular magazines and Hollywood movies may offer plenty of tips on finding dates and what to do with your date later that night, but they rarely give you anything you can use to build a strong, long-term relationship. Here are some tips you can actually use:

Build trust

A lot of love relationship advice focuses on trust because it truly is the foundation of a loving relationship. While trust sometimes develops on its own, putting a little work into building it never hurts. How can you do that?

First of all, be reliable. Call when you say you’ll call, and show up at the time you promise. Also try not to make promises you have no intention of keeping, like “Yeah, I’ll help you clean the kitchen later.”

When you have a disagreement, be fair and don’t take jabs at your partner’s weak spots. Respect your partner’s feelings and avoid telling them they “shouldn’t” feel a certain way just because that’s not how you’d feel in the same situation.

Don’t ignore money matters

This may not be very common love relationship advice, but it is important. If you share any financial responsibilities, you owe it to each other to communicate on this issue. Sure, it’s not much fun to talk about money, but it’s even less fun when you’re in serious trouble due to poor planning. Don’t let it get that far.

Even in a marriage with only one bread winner, both of you should be involved in financial planning. To keep problems at bay, put aside time once a month (while you’re doing the bills is a good time) to discuss your financial situation. Once you get used to it, it’ll become a lot less stressful.

Learn to end arguments

It’s bound to happen: your partner does that really annoying thing yet again and suddenly you’re yelling at each other. The important thing isn’t so much stopping it from happening as knowing how to stop it when it does happen. In fact, the ability to diffuse post-argument tension can make or break a relationship. How’s that for valuable love relationship advice?

So, when you realize your gripe session is getting out of hand, try a little gentle humor, say something kind to your partner, or acknowledge that the two of you ultimately share the same goals. If you’re still feeling snarky, take a break to clear your head.

Talk about what matters

Ever hear people say they and their spouse lead separate lives and wonder how a marriage ends up that way? Most often is starts with a lack of deep communication. Real relationship-sustaining communication does not mean talking about when the dog’s due for his shots or when you’re going to get that leak fixed. It means talking about your feelings from day to day, your hopes for the future, and even your fears.

Keeping a relationship going strong takes trust, good communication, and attention to the things that really matter. Don’t get sidetrack by the magazine headlines because the best love relationship advice isn’t all about when to send roses or what to do in bed.

When people start to have relationship problems they tend to make things much more difficult than they need to be. It’s not really that hard to identify the problem and work together to fix it…as long as you are working together. This is a common problem, one partner won’t commit to make the changes needed to make the relationship better.

No matter how hard it may be to hear, if that is the case in your relationship than you have no choice but to end it…unless you are willing to stay in a bad relationship. It will take both of you working together to make things better and if one partner is unwilling to work at it, nothing will change.

If both of you are willing to try to make things better – working together – then here are three tips that may help:

1. One of the most important elements in any good relationship is the ability to communicate well. That doesn’t mean that you know how to talk, it means that you know the best way to get your point across without being mean and spiteful. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. It’s also about how well you listen. Are you really hearing what the other person is trying to say, or are you just hearing the words without looking deeper to the true meaning?

Most of us aren’t poets, and sometimes things don’t come out the right way. Being a good listener means not jumping down your partners throat when they say something wrong, it means trying to understand their point of view and realizing that even though you may not agree with them that they have the right to feel the way they feel and they want your understanding. Don’t forget, some day the shoe will be on the other foot, and you’ll want to try to explain how you’re feeling to your partner, you’ll want them to listen to you, right?

2. Don’t hold your partner up to a higher standard than you hold yourself to. For example, if you don’t want your partner to go out clubbing with their friends, you shouldn’t either. If you want your partner to be a better housekeeper, you should pitch in and help. So many of us are great at telling our partners what they are doing wrong, but we aren’t nearly as good at honestly facing up to our own shortcomings. Maybe if you spent a little more time making sure you were being the best person you could be, you wouldn’t get so frustrated with the failings of your partner.

3. Be realistic as to whether or not you should continue the relationship. Many of us hang on way too long to a bad relationship, and we do it for all the wrong reasons such as fear of loneliness or jealousy over our ex meeting someone else. Relationships are important, and you shouldn’t just run for the door whenever there is a problem, but it’s also important to recognize that sometimes it’s just not working and it never will, and it’s time to leave.

Having a wonderful, loving relationship is one of life’s greatest pleasures, but when you start to have relationship problems it can make you feel more miserable than you ever thought possible. Use these tips to get, or keep, your relationship going strong.

Need more tips? Check out The Ex Back System.