Archive for the ‘Relationship Advice’ Category

While some might say there are as many types of love as there are couples, it’s also true that long-term romantic relationships tend to fall into certain categories.

According to Robert Sternberg, who developed the Triangular Theory of Love, there are exactly seven of those categories. Here we’ll take a love at the five types most would consider love. Any of them sound familiar?

Romantic Love

This is what Hollywood wants us to think love is. The foundation is passion—that giddy, swept-of-your-feet feeling. Along with that, there’s often a sense of emotional closeness so strong you feel one with your partner. The problem with this type of love is that there’s no commitment. Once the excitement wears off and the day-to-day routine sets in, this love can fizzle fast. There are better types of relationships out there.

Fatuous love

This is Vegas drive-through-chapel love. Love that makes you think you should spend a lifetime together after you’ve only known each other a week. As with the romantic variety, there’s plenty of passion, but there’s also a sense of commitment (hence the insta-wedding).

What’s lacking, though, is intimacy. The two people involved hardly know each other. It leads to questions like “What do you mean you ‘forgot’ to finalize your divorce?!”

Companionate love

This is the elderly couple walking hand in hand through the park. It’s also the ornery old pair who always seems to have regular spats, yet wouldn’t dream of leaving each other. Even after the passion has died down, the closeness and commitment are stronger than ever. Of course, that’s not to imply that all older couples lack passion or that this love is reserved only for the elderly.

Empty love

Of all types of relationships, this one is hardest to call “love.” It’s really more a type of respect held up by moral values. It’s the kind of thing that happens when a married couple no longer feels much of anything for each other, but stays together for the kids, for financial reasons, or just out of sheer momentum. Often both partners still feel genuine regard and respect for one another, but neither emotional intimacy nor sexual passion are anywhere to be found.

Consummate love

Here we’ve hit the mother lode. This is the love most of use dream of finding some day. It’s everything all rolled into one: deep emotional intimacy, toe-curling passion, and rock-solid commitment. People who share this type of love often consider their partner their best friend or the “one thing” they can count on. Naturally, this relationship’s bound to hit a few storms along the way, but this type of couple has everything they need to weather those storms without sustaining any serious damage.

So which one sounds like you? Are you high on romantic love, settled into a comfortable companionship or, just maybe, you’re one of the lucky couples who’ve found true consummate love. In any case, keep in mind that not every relationship is going to fit into one of these categories and most types of relationships will fall into more than one.

When you’re trying to get your ex boyfriend back, while a cooling-off period can do you both a lot of good, you don’t want to wait too long. Once the memories of all the good times you had together start to fade or he meets another woman, you may have lost him for good. To make sure that doesn’t happen, here’s a step-by-step plan to get your ex boyfriend back fast.

Assess why he left

When you first met, you were both on your best behavior and a lot more tolerant of each other’s quirks. But be honest, after you got more comfortable with each other you weren’t so perfect all the time, were you? Maybe you started to take him for granted or you got a little pushy now and then. Before you can get your ex boyfriend back for good, you need to know what made him leave in the first place.

Fix problems on your end

Once you know what went wrong, you need to find a way to make sure it doesn’t happen again. It’s easy to blame his annoying habits or lack of communication skills for any tensions between you two, but ultimately you are responsible for your reactions to whatever he does. You’ll either have to find a better way to deal with whatever he did that irritated you or decide maybe he wasn’t the right guy for you after all.

Plan your first contact

So, hopefully you haven’t already called him a dozen times and sent six emails titled “Please reply, I can’t live without you.” If you have, the rest of this article may not help you. If not, though, you still have the option of carefully planning how you’re going to get to see him again. Stay away from pathetic excuses and go for something fun and casual like inviting him out with him out with some of your friends to do something the two of you used to enjoy doing together.

Be open and flexible

Once you do get to talk to him, let him do the complaining and you do the listening. That doesn’t mean you should give in to all his demands, but at least hear him out before you jump in with your own opinions.

Remember, even if they weren’t obvious to you, he had good reasons to leave. If you’re going to be a couple again, you’ll need to do some compromising. One good tactic to get him to open up is to ask if he’d be willing to tell you what he felt went wrong in the relationship so you can learn from your mistakes.

You can probably get your ex boyfriend back a lot sooner than you think, but you need to have a proven plan to follow. Some of the free tips online may just backfire on you and make the split permanent. When you choose a proven plan designed by an experienced relationship counselor, though, you can not only get your ex boyfriend back, you can do it without any stress and drama.