Archive for September, 2009

When you have been dumped, there are any number of theories about how to win ex back. Most of them involve playing head games with your ex. But, when you mess with her head just to win her back, you are on a shaky foundation for moving forward in the relationship when things are patched up. This article is the no-games way to win ex back.

When you were going out, she would text you two dozen times a day. Now your phone is silent. While you don?t want to overdo it, calling her once a week or so just to ?keep in touch? keeps the door open for a reconciliation.

To this end, make sure that you call her on important days like her birthday. Sending a card or a small gift wouldn?t hurt either when you are trying to win ex back.

Keep in touch by email. If there is a news story she might enjoy ? whether it is about poverty in Africa or a profile of Shane West ? send it to her with a nice (short) note. You can also start a email list where you send out information, jokes, or personal updates to a group of friends and make sure she is on the responder list.

You also have to decide whether you want to want to date other girls during the period when you are trying to win ex back. If you are serious that you are going to win ex back, you won?t date other girls. If you are even thinking about getting back together, do not sleep with another woman. This goes against some dating advice that says you should date around to make your ex jealous. But playing games like this will not serve you well when you do get back together.

Don?t be jealous when she dates other guys though. She called it off, remember, so she?s not cheating when she sees men. You can use the information about what she looks for in a man when you analyze the kind of men she?s dating.

For instance, if she broke things off with you because you had gotten too complacent in the relationship, she may be seeing men who sweep her off her feet. If you were the beer and football type and she?s now dating artists and poets, you may need to develop a more sensitive side in order to win ex back.

When you analyze and study the woman who broke up with you, you will be able to see what she really needs in a man. Remember, that now that you are no longer a couple, there are layers being built up between the two of you. In some ways, this actually makes it easier to see what she needs from a man because your own emotions, feelings, and needs are less at play. Read into the things she says and the things she doesn?t say. Look at her actions as well.

Hold your own cards close to your chest. The power in your relationship has shifted. When you spill out your deepest emotions to your ex, you give her too much power. If you tell her that she is the one person who you need in your life, she suddenly can dictate the future. When you hold your own cards close to your chest, you preserve your own power which is necessary for restoration of the relationship after you win ex back.

During the time when you are broken up, work on yourself. Make sure you hit the gym regularly so you look good. Get a hair cut too and even consider a new style. Also, work on your mind as well as your body. By spending time on self improvement, you become more attractive to your ex.

The bottom line is that you can try to get your ex back by playing games or you can try to fix the problems that your relationship had. When you work on the problems, you build a more solid foundation for the future when you have already accomplished win ex back.

If you are trying to get woman back, but you were a jerk to her, you may not deserve her. That may not be what you want to hear but it may very well be the truth. It is good that you recognize that you may have had a problem but what are you going to do about it and why should she want you back? Until you figure those things out you may not get woman back.

Here?s what you need to do to get woman back:
1) Change the way you look at women. If you consider them property then you do not deserve a chance. View them as people deserving of respect and do your best to give it to them and you might have a chance. To love women you need to respect women.
2) Change the way you treat women. Chivalry is not dead. Be a gentleman and treat them as queens. If you can pull this off your chances improve. Be subtle about it and try not to draw attention. You don?t want to look like you are faking it. They will notice. Women are smart like that and if she doesn?t notice she will have a friend notice and tell her. Your credibility may be shot.
3) Learn humility. This will go a long way towards helping you get woman back.
4) Let her know that you were a jerk. If she tells you that you were, just agree with her. If she exaggerates, or it seems like she is, remember that to her she isn?t. The only person?s opinion that matters is hers if your goal is to get woman back. You?re selling and you?re trying to get her to buy. The customer is always right.
5) Find out if she wants some space or if she wants you to come begging and then give her what she wants. This will be a tough thing to do. You may have to ask around to people who know her well. She may even think that your efforts to try out are worth giving you a second thought.
6) Try and convince her friends that you are changed. You will have to do this first. They will be skeptical of you and will be most interested in protecting their friend that you hurt. If you can win her friends then you have won the major part of the battle. If you try and get ex back first, you will have trouble convincing her and even if you do, they may talk her out of it. Do you want her trusted friends for you or against you?
7) Don?t tell her that you have changed, show her. Words are great but it doesn?t mean anything unless there is some action to back it up. You need more than words.
Think about the long term and if you are going to be able to make this change permanent. If you can?t then you are going to end up in the same place you are now but only with a smaller chance to get woman back.