Archive for August, 2009

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you?re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You?ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it?s necessary. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it?s a good idea, too. When you want to know, ?How to stop my divorce,? you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong. Unless they?ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you?re wondering, ?How can I stop my divorce when I didn?t want it in the first place,? then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don?t want a divorce. Chances are that you?ve done this, more than once. But the way you say it can make a difference.

It?s important for you to be very mature and calm about it. That?s not always easy to do. Divorce is an emotional and painful thing. But it?s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you?re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ?how to stop my divorce? you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can?t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest marital counseling. Explain, ?I want to stop my divorce,? but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you?re ready to make them better.

Do you want to win ex back? If you had a close, loving relationship with a man who later dumped you, you may want to get back together. You have a lot of emotional investment in the relationship, and may not want to throw it away without an attempt to reignite the flame. Here?s how to win ex back.

First of all, you need to analyze your own feelings. Do you still care deeply about your ex? Sometimes a great passion burns into being merely comfortable. You don?t want to lose your ex because he?s like an old slipper. But comfort doesn?t make a great relationship. There has to be a great love. If you still have passionate feelings for your old boyfriend, you can move onto the next step of how to win ex back.

And that next step is examining how he feels about you. Does he have the same kind of grand love? If the problems in the relationship were things you can work on ? communication, time management, goal awareness ? then you can win ex back. But, if the problem was deeper ? he was no longer in love with you ? you should start to move on now.

When you have determined that this was a grand love, you can start to work on the things that can bring you back together. For instance, think back to who you were when your boyfriend fell for you. Perhaps you weighed 10 pounds less, had a more optimistic outlook on life, were close to your girlfriends, or were involved in a variety of activities.

After you spend time with a guy, you begin to change. You spend less time with girlfriends or on your own activities as he begins to demand more of your presence. You may have let yourself go because you feel secure in his affection.

If you want to win ex back, you need to go back to being the woman he fell in love with.

Another tip to how to win ex back is to practice detachment. Don?t call, text, or stalk him. You don?t want to appear desperate. By seeming to accept the situation, you actually become more desirable to him.

In practicing detachment, you also begin to focus on what makes you happy. You get reconnected to friends and family. You take up hobbies and other things which interest you. You become a more positive person in general. This all helps in win ex back.

When you do get together with your ex from time to time, use the past to your advantage. For instance, if there was an outfit he really liked to see you in, wear it. If you eat at a restaurant where you had a good time with him, mention that you were there again. Because you have many positive experiences with this guy, you can use your common history to win ex back.

From time to time, invite your ex to non-committal type events. Ask him to join a group of your friends at a bar or invite him to a party. Let him know he?s free to bring a date.

Finally, if you want to win ex back, just be yourself. Either he?s in love with you or he isn?t. You can?t change who you are to win ex back. You can only be yourself.